March 2012
Sometimes if feels like all my friends are getting thinner and I’m just getting bigger.
February 2012
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Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.
Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM
Plato: *high fives Socrates*
Me on the last week of school
lmaogtfo:
Need a laugh? Click here!
Wait, don’t you mean everyday?
cardcaptorsollux:
how do you expect me to do a homework assignment that requires a computer
do you know what happens when i get near a computer
Miss Piggy On Beauty
homeisaheartbeat:
What are your top beauty tips?
Start out perfect and don’t change a thing. Always accentuate your best features by pointing at them. And conceal your flaws by sucker punching anyone who has the audacity to mention them.
warm—euphoria:
day488:
hiddlebumz:
theoriginalcemeterygirl:
borgiabutts:
himapapaftw:
sassy-lesbian-terezi:
felicianovargastheofficeslut:
daisiespastapizza:
blaggot:
and here we have live footage of a gay in it’s natural habitat
(guys that’s not funny I do that everyday)
this is me
THERE ARE LITERAL FUCKING TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.
literally me
jesus
BRB...
When my mum tries to discipline me in public:
whyamisorandom:
Your dash lacks some birds with arms →
ilovethatchair:
astrumindivum:
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
you’re welcome
FUCK YES IT DOES.
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.
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In class: oh yeah i totally get this
homework: lol what the fuck
test: lol what the fuck
report card: well shit
dujardins:
e-pic:
plot twist: suddenly oprah shows up and has an oscar for everyone under their chairs
#except leonardo dicaprio
best actress: gary oldman
best actor: gary oldman
best picture: gary oldman
best director: gary oldman
best makeup: gary oldman
best in the world: gary oldman
#best hide and seeker: benedict cumberbatch
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